On my mind

I've been getting to bed at a decent hour, but I'm getting up every night to go to the bathroom. I'm seeing my doctor later today for some tests. Hopefully they'll figure out what's going on and be able to fix it. It's frustrating knowing that I will go to bed at a decent hour only to be up just a few hours later. Usually I go right back to bed but tonight I was feeling anxious and decided to get up and post and blog. I sure hope they can figure out what's going on and fix the problem. Not sleeping through the night for months on end is draining.

This week I'm going to continue to focus on my body clutter adventure. I realize that once I start feeling successful, I'm apt to try to sabotage my progress. I'm not sure why that is, but I do know that it's true. I want to continue walking every day, drinking my smoothie for breakfast and filling out the body clutter investigator (an extremely helpful tool!). Why do I try to trip myself up? Do I fear success? I think I'm afraid that other people will notice my success and 'expect' something of me (like continuing the progress, perhaps). I have a real difficult time with being 'responsible' to myself or anyone else. I like flying by the seat of my pants too much. I don't want anything to become an obligation. I need to turn that around and realize that I'm blessing my own body and my own world and it benefits me to do these things. Maybe I feel undeserving. There's a lot of emotional body clutter that surrounds this issue (physical body clutter). I guess I should start working on the emotional body clutter and then I'd see that the physical body clutter would decrease as a result of looking things squarely in the eye. I think I might read "Body Clutter" again and do some online journaling. I sure would like to know if anyone else is having these kinds of issues.

I sent out an email to the Colorado Springs group inviting other Flybabies to get together with me. I sure had a great time with MJ and would really like to meet other Flybabies. As Leanne puts it, it would be nice to meet someone who's in the same 'stratosphere' as me. She and Marla always seem to be FLYing in a similar orbit. LOL

I think maybe I will talk about the emotional body clutter that surrounds the physical body clutter on the FlyShow this week when I call in. I'm sure Marla and Leanne can give me some idea as to why I want to sabotage my own success or why I'm feeling like I don't deserve to keep making progress. Should be an interesting talk.

I'm still struggling with keeping track of the finances. The calendar doesn't really work (takes up too much space). I've got everything online, but the future payments don't show up until they are paid and that throws me off. I think I need to keep a log (hate calling it a checkbook). I could work on that tomorrow. There's not much that's outstanding, so I should be able to write it down. It's just that I'm not very good at keeping up a log going. I've got to figure out some way to utilize the online system and Money to help me keep track daily of what the account balance is. I liked it so much better when I had so much money that I didn't have to keep track. LOL Those days are long gone though. I have to watch everything now. It may take me a while, but I'll get it figured out.

I haven't been doing much photography lately. It's been a while since I added to my Flickr page (http://www.flickr.com/photos/internettie). The weather is changing, fall is here, so I need to get out there and take some shots of how things are morphing. I love doing my photography, but I've been in a bit of a lull lately.

I'm enjoying being a part of the Flybaby Forum (http://flybaby.forumotion.com/index.htm). It's nice to be in touch with other Flybabies and have a place to stay accountable and share successes and struggles. It's been a bit quiet on the Forum lately because everyone has been so busy with work and studies. I don't have a life, so I post often. LOL

Being part of the Colorado and Colorado Springs Yahoo! groups is also a blessing. Again, they are not very active right now, but mostly it's a place for me to hold myself accountable and share my good times and bad times. I know there are a lot of Flybabies in this area. When Marla was here 2 years ago to attend the Women's Expo, hundreds of Flybabies showed up. It was SRO. So, are those folks like me and didn't know of the existence of the Forum and the local Yahoo! groups? Maybe I'll email Marla and ask her to remind everyone that they may have a State or local Yahoo! group that they can become a part of. I'll also let her know about the forum. There are places for people to turn to. There's no need to feel alone while Flying.

I've been enjoying doing this blog. I know it's not earth shattering stuff on here, but I think that most days aren't earth shattering. They are normal and sometimes mundane. I think most of us can relate to that. Hopefully someone is reading this blog and it's helping them to feel less isolated. I know it helps me to know that there are other Flybabies out there having the successes and struggles that I do. That's why the radio show is so neat. You can actually hear the other Flybabies. Anyway, I'll keep blogging even though I don't have much profound stuff to say. LOL

Jumpcut hasn't been updated in ages. I love putting movies together with jumpcut. But it's a tad frustrating that the FlyLady group is lagging behind. I'd love to see more videos on there. I'm sue it just was too much for Marla to keep up with. It's a great idea, but she has so many great ideas and limited time like the rest of us. There are only so many projects you can work on in any given day. I put a little video on there recently about my "15 Minute Kitchen Makeover". I love to see the before and after photos. Here's a link to my latest video: http://www.jumpcut.com/view/?id=F7AAAC5064DC11DCA9A3000423CEF5F6 . Hope you enjoy it. It's nice to see the kitchen go from a mess to decluttered in 15 minutes or so.

MJ and I talked about our dogs at our lunch yesterday. Thinking about Skooter and Moped made me sad. I really do miss them. I'm glad to have Huxley and Blitz (even though Blitz is a major whiner!). Keeping up the dog blog (http://skootersdogblog.blogspot.com) is a labor of love for me. I just wish that my lazy dogs did more. LOL They spend a lot of time napping. Spoiled, lazy girls. lol

It was fun going back to World Talk Radio and hearing the initial Body Clutter call that I made. It's been almost two months now since the Body Clutter adventure began. Listening to the archives on there made me really miss Jeff though. I'm really hoping that he will come over to Blog Talk Radio to help with the FlyShow. We need musical interludes and commercials so we can have time to do the missions. BTR is easier to navigate, but it still has some bugs to work out. WTR is one big bug! LOL

I've subscribed to Mary Hunt's "Everyday Cheapskate" online newsletter. It's informative, funny and interesting. I've learned quite a bit by reading those newsletters. Today's edition has a Garlic Chicken recipe. I can't wait to read it.

Well, it's 2am and I should try to get back to bed. My doctor's appointment is at 10:45am so I need to up and going by 8am (so I can get my walk and shower in). Lisa mentioned something about maybe getting together tomorrow. Although I'm sure she is quite tired and that may not happen. But I'll be ready just in case it does. (Can you say scone deficiency!) Whatever, I can wait until she's feeling up to getting together.

The dogs have been in bed this whole time. Lazy girls! :-) They get way more sleep than I do. Somehow that just doesn't seem fair. Guess I'll go join them.