There's always tomorrow

I have really struggled this week to keep up with the house and everything else. I was sidetracked by fatigue, a huge financial project and not feeling well. Routines were anything but. When I look back over the week it's just a blur. I know I did get some things done and it's those things I want to concentrate on. But I do need to be realistic about what didn't get done too.

Accomplishments:

* I walked at least one morning this past week (I can't remember if I got out there other times)
* I got the blender out and made a protein smoothie for breakfast after my walk
* I finished that HUGE financial project
* I took care of myself when I wasn't feeling well
* I took time to visit with friends
* I started laundry
* I got a load of dishes done

As I look around, these are the things that need to be done:

* clean off the counters in the kitchen
* empty and reload the dishwasher
* plan meals, prepare grocery list (Body Clutter Menu Mailer)
* get new, clear plastic finance/mail bin organized
* vacuum
* install new DVD player that the boys sent David for his birthday (it was last month, but we just got the DVD player this week)
* dusting
* bathrooms
* declutter, prettyfythe office and guest room
* finish up the master bedroom (paint trim, hang stuff, make the bed, etc.)
* get the laundry done
* shine the sink

When I look at that list of things to be done, I don't feel overwhelmed because I know that I only need to spend 15 minutes or less on each task and the house will feel better, which means that I'll feel better.

Body Clutter: I haven't been using the BCMM because of finances (haven't been able to go grocery shopping). I need to figure out how I can get that into the plan this week. I also walked at least once this week and I did make a delicious smoothie for breakfast on the one day that I did walk. And I cleaned the blender right after I used it too! (thanks for getting me off my franny Marla and Leanne) I weighed myself a couple times this week. I've gone down a couple of pounds. Go Me! I downloaded the Body Clutter Investigator and put it in my control journal. I'm thinking of making one page for each week instead of a page a day and hanging it on the fridge. I'll have to see if either of those things will work for me. I realize that I'm eating way too many carbs and not enough protein, fruits and veggies. I'll need to change that.

I think my biggest issue is not having routines. I'm just having the darndest time getting into them. I don't have any kind of routine for morning, afternoon or evening. I have a very difficult time keeping on track on the weekends when my DH is home. It's not his fault, it's mine. I know what I would like to do but I just don't do it. A spend a lot of time sitting on my franny, in front of the laptop or watching organization shows on TV. As I told Marla and Leanne this week on the FlyShow - I'm great with preparation, but not so good with the follow through. I also try to do too much at one time. I need to follow the babysteps and just work on one step until it has become routine. I know so many things about the FlyLady lifestyle and I spend a lot of time hopping from one thing to another that I think SHOULD be done to 'comply' with the lifestyle. The pressure comes from me, not from anyone else.

Today my feelings were hurt though because DH said the house was filthy (he was having to deal with some dust on the entertainment system while switching out DVD players). I felt really bad because I've done so much around here and the thing that he comments on is negative. I had been hoping that he'd say something nice about what I had done, but instead he made a negative comment. It hurt. And I think it really bothered me because I feel like the house is a disaster (even though it's really not). The 'truth' hurts.

If I could just do a babystep, some zone work and decluttering each day I think I'd be feeling better about things. Doing 'all' that stuff would only take about 30 minutes a day. But I also don't want how I feel to be tied to what the house looks like or what I've done or not done. I need to stop letting my perfectionism get in the way! I want to do this system perfectly and I know that not only is that NOT possible, I don't need to do it perfectly. I need to stop putting so much on the plate each day. I need to concentrate on the basics. I can't do routines if I don't know the things that are needed to go into the routines. That's why I need to just take babysteps. I'm in some kind of competition and I need to stop doing that.

I feel like I need to start all over again (not that I ever really started in the first place ~lol~) and take it one babystep at a time. Anything else I get done will be gravy but not an obligation. I'm overwhelming myself. I'm trying to keep up with all the stuff I 'need' to do each day, plus update the forum, the colordosprings fly group and this blog now. When will I have time to develop any routines? My mental to-do list just has to be shortened down to just the basics.

'Do it now' really needs to become my mantra. Not that I have to do everything all day long, but that when I think of doing something I should just do it now and get it over with. I'm having trouble seeing what I do as having value or being a blessing (and it doesn't help when DH says he thinks the house is filthy). Does he really think the house is filthy? I hope not. I hope he was just frustrated by the dust on the entertainment center. I'm frustrated with it too. I don't do the weekly home blessing each week, so the dust accumulates.

Another thing I'm having issues with is what day of the week I can schedule things: weekly home blessing, errand day, free day, etc. I want to just do what Marla does but I don't think it works for me. I feel like I'm failing because I'm not doing things in the 'correct order'. Again, no one's fault but mine. My perfectionism is running rampant. I'm not dogging on myself, just dealing with reality. If I don't see things for what they truly are then I'll never have an opportunity to make any changes.

The FlyShow: I've been calling into the FlyShow every week (at Leanne's request) and updating her and Marla on how things are going with my body clutter. They have been extremely gracious and supportive. They've moved to BlogTalkRadio from World Talk Radio. I like BTR better. It's easier to navigate. I feel kind of funny calling in each week, but Leanne has asked me to, so I'm doing that. I know that I won't be calling in every week forever so I'm going to make the best of it while I do have a chance to call in.

SavingDinner.com: I love the look of Leanne's updated site. It also is easier to navigate. And her staff is so incredibly helpful. They get back to me quickly with answers to my questions or comments on my testimonials/thank you's. I'm grateful for the Body Clutter Menu Mailer and hope to start using it consistently. Like most things, I'm good with the prep and not so good with the follow through.

I talked to my sister this week and she has started the FlyLady lifestyle. She's using the Teacher Control Journal, the Student Control Journal, the timer, routines, and she's thinking of getting one of the menu mailers from Leanne. I told her that she needs to send an email to FlyLady and Leanne telling them what a huge impact all of this has had on her. She feels very hopeful and that's what FlyLady is all about: HOPE!

So, I'm not going to get on myself today and make myself get 'everything' done. If I get to things today, that's great if not, that's okay too. There's always tomorrow.