The time has almost come...

It's a bit after 4am. Blitz woke me up to go out. I let her and Huxley out for a few minutes. It's really cold and windy out. They're back in bed. I'm up because I'm nervous about hearing from CSHP. I should know within hours whether I got the job or not. It was weird not seeing it on their website or in the newspaper. I've really been focused on getting this job. I don't want to work too far from home with winter coming up. I also don't mind working part-time for now and then maybe FT later. I figured it out last night that I'll be starting off making about $5 less per hour than I did at my last job. Hopefully I can move up that way as I go along. I know I'm not going to get a job for $17/hour but a girl can dream.

I'm going to jump in the shower later so I can be ready in case they need me to come down to the HR office today to do pre-employment screening or a drug test. I need to check my list of meds and see if it is up to date. I can also check with Wal-mart today on those $4 prescriptions. I want to save money wherever I can. Plus it would be easier to get prescriptions when I need them instead of having to wait for them to come in the mail. Too bad I can't get all of them at Wal-mart. I may check their prices just to see what the difference in cost would be. It's nice having a 3 month supply but it would be nicer to save some money and have quicker access to the prescriptions.

I also need to make a call to the Healthcare company so we can have someone come and pick up the oxygen machine. We're paying for it but David's not using it. And it's pretty expensive. The Healthcare company was part of our financial planning. I need to take care of that too.

I'm going to get the house straightened up today: laundry, dishes, vaccuum, paperwork and cleaning. I really need to catch up. I'll feel better if I'm caught up on stuff. The house is kind of a mess right now. No problem though, I'll just jump in where I am.

My allergies are really bothering me. I have post nasal drip, a cough and my tongue is sore. My eyes are watering too. I don't want to take allergy medicine because it will make me sleepy. I need to be awake to get the house cleaned and chores done. I think I'll also take an inventory of what food is on hand and plan out meals. I have quite a bit of meat in the freezer so I'll be able to make quite a few meals. There's quite a bit in the cupboards too. And Saturday I pick up the AFM food. All that shoud last for quite some time. The only things I'll need are perishibles: milk, bread, produce. Oh and I'll need to get cereal. Although I probably should stop eating so much cereal and eat smoothies again for breakfast. I've gained back a few pounds because I've stopped walking because of th weather. I could wait until later in the day to go walking when it's warmer and less windy out. I need to get back to walking. Either that or use the treadmill over at the clubhouse. That might be too boring for me though. But I've got to exercise somehow. I don't want to gain back all the weight I lost. I should start out today and just get out there and walk this morning. I have a hoodie I can wear to keep me warm. And I have gloves and a hat to keep me warm too.

David's radio alarm is going off. He hasn't got up yet. Wait, I think I just heard him getting up. Yep, that was him. His alarm is off now. The dogs should be in bed sleeping. That's where I should be too but I'm too amped to sleep. I'll probably go back to bed in a little bit though. I really need my sleep. I haven't sleep through the night for so long now. Either the dogs are waking me up or I'm getting up to go to the bathroom. It stinks. I won't be able to work if I feel like this all the time. I've got to stay in bed until at least 5:30am. I want to be at work by 7:20am because people start getting to the lab at 7:30am. I don't want to keep people waiting. (She says, knowing that the job may not be hers.)

It would be so nice to make more money. We could get the BEF done, pay the family loan, get a month ahead on bills and then pay off the jeep. After that we'd start on the retirement again and whatever is left over would go towards paying off the house. It'll definitely take years to do, but it's better than taking 30 years (the length of our mortgage). It will be so nice to not be in debt. It will be awesome to pay for things with cash and have the money to do things with. We are living like no one else so that later we can live like no one else. I don't know that we'll ever be millionaires, but it would be fun to work towards it. But even if we don't end up as millionaires, at least we'll be able to enjoy our lives guilt free and debt free.

I'm a bit nervous about whether I will be able to actually keep a job. I know it's just nerves making me worry about that but I am worried. All I can do is what I can do. I'll work if I can. I need to make some sacrifices too to get us out of debt. David can't be the only one who works all the time. Even if I can just work part-time, I'll be adding in more money, making a bigger 'shovel' to pay off the debt with. I always doubt my abilities before I attempt to take on something new. Guess that's just human nature. I'm confident in my abillities but I'm also worried that I don't have the skills to do the job. It's hard going back to work after not working for 7 years. I'm hoping Voc Rehab can help me and I'm hoping I can get this job. Having Voc Rehab help would make it a bit easier because I wouldn't have to worry about SS doing a medical review. I worry about that because I haven't been able to afford to go to the doctors (mental health or physical). I could try to get back after I'm comfortable in my job. It's not that I don't need to be seen, it's just that I can't afford the copays. We'll have the HSA for next year and that will help us with meeting our deductible. We've gone to the basic PPO for this coming year. I hope that is the right thing to do. If not we won't be able to change it unti 2009.

I should get up and start doing some stuff around here. I don't know that I'll go back to bed. I'm too nervous. I could use that nervous energy to clean up around here. I've had a basket of laundry in the living room for days now. And the counter is full of dishes again. I need to get back to my FlyLady routines. I've completely gotten out of my routines. And the house shows it. But I know that working 15 minutes at a time, I can get a lot done around here. I just need to pace myself. It will feel good to get things 'under control' again. Routines are the way to achieve that.

It's almost 5am now. I can't believe I'm up but then again what else would I be doing with all of this nervous energy I have.

I need to remember to call the Healthcare company and Vonage today. I want to see if they have done anything on getting my money back to me. That $80 would help out a lot. I'm afraid of them trying to rip me off though. I can't believe I had to pay $39.99 to get my service transferred back to Qwest. They told me it wasn't a disconnect fee. The person I talked to at Vonage repeated that over and over again. The person said that it was just a temporary fee and I would get it all back because I was within the trial period when we cancelled. I'm sure they will give me the run-around though. They always seem to.

I think I'll probably jump in the shower after David leaves. I don't want to be showering later when the call from HR could come in. If I don't hear anything by 10am, then I'll call her back.

It feels so cold in here because we have the heat turned down to the low 60's and it's cold and windy out. I don't want to feel like I'm freezing all winter long.

I only have a few dollars left for this week. I think I have most everything that I need. Just remembered, I need to make David's lunch. BRB.